Teksto

      D                          G              D            G
My show is a little bit silly and a little bit pretentious
        D                     G          Bmin                   A
Like Shakespeare's willy or Noam Chomsky wearing a strapon,
      D                       G             D          G
It's also a little bit gay and a little offensive,
        D                    G         Bmin                   A
Like Thanksgiving Day or Noam Chomsky wearing a strapon,
                    D                     G
So put your cell phones to vibrate,
                     Bmin             A
And put your vibrators to cell phone mode,
 D                                   G                             Bmin
Welcome to the show it goes a little bit like this,
            A
JOKE... (laugh)... exactly.
 D                                 G                              Bmin
Welcome to my flow it flows a little bit like this,
            A
With a rap a dist and a,
 D                       G           
Swift rap on the wrist a wrap and a kiss,
 Bmin                                  A
Like Hershey's wrapping a kiss shit.
 D                            G
I got a show that'll test ya kids,
          Bmin                                A
Then ask one question and the question is,
            D                                                                G
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? What's funny?
                                                        A
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? Funny? F-funny?
        D                      G             Bmin         A
Oh, Humor is often linked to shared experience,
           D                       
Like a guy gets up and says,
                 G                                                  Bmin                     A
"have you noticed that public restrooms have really inefficient hand dryers,
            D              G                   Bmin
Oh my god, yes I have, HA HA HA,
                    A                        D
Really good point, they should fix that,
      G                            Bmin                   A
Its good to know that somebody finally gets me,
                    D                                           G
because my wife divorced me which Sub-Consciously forced me,
     Bmin                   A
to lose all sense of self.
          D                            G                         Bmin                    A 
So its nice to think about hand dryers and not that cheating whore,
              D                              G                     Bmin     A
Because stand up comedy is actually pretty easy,
                   D                        G
If you're an asian comic just get up and say,
                                 Bmin                    A
"My mothers got the weirdest fucking accent"
                D                   G                                        Bmin                A
then just do, a chinese accent, because everybody laughs at the chinese accent,
                      D                                        G
Because they privately thought that your people were laughable,
                          Bmin                                 A
And now you've given them the chance to express that in public,
                 D                             G                      Bmin               A
If you're a musical comic, just give 'em a little weird voice inflection
          D                          G                      Bmin       [stop]
Then take a Viagra and slap 'em with a rock hard      misdirection
            D                                                                G
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? What's funny?
                                                       A
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? Funny? F-funny?
[stop]
TOURETTE'S!
            D                                                                G
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? What's funny?
                                                        A
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? Funny? F-funny? And the audience says
                      D                    G                                        Bmin    A
When I was a baby, maybe I laughed at people jiggling keys,
              D
Now I'm older and bolder,
                     G                                         Bmin             A
And just get mad 'cause i notice that the keys are to a Hummer,
               D                            G
Fuck my life I don't fuck my wife,
                   Bmin                    A
so fuck my wife and fuck my life,
                       D                             G
and my son is gay, but not sitcom gay,
                          Bmin                                    A
My daughter's a whore like another girl who used to be her mother,
             D                                     G
But the marriage made her miss merry americana,
 Bmin                          A
I want a teen without screaming prima-donna,
             D                        G                       Bmin     A
But the radical feminists made my wife a man,
             D                    G                        Bmin           A
And if I die happy the situation will be autoerotic asphyxiation,
 D              G                            Bmin   A     
I hate my life and it hates me back, 
                           D
and my friend is black, 
       G                               Bmin           A
but I don't know what to call him, so I just call him...
 D           G              Bmin
"Yo whatup Jamaal?", 
[stop]                                      A
Even though his name is Steve,
   D                                       G
I Hate my job I hate my life, hate my kids I hate my wife,
 Bmin                                A
Jews would know I do it; Judas beat me to it,
 D                                     G               Bmin   A
I'm slowly slipping into a solipsistic coma,
 A              [just strum angrily a bunch of times]
And I masturbate because I'm the only one who's standards are low enough to fuck me....

.....
            D                                                                G
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? What's funny?
                                                       A
 What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? Funny? F-funny?
[stop]
*pop* It's a boy!
            D                                                                G
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? What's funny?
                                                       A
 What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? Funny? F-funny?
                 D    A D
Hopefully this